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exhati:

just because I reply with “okay” does not mean you have to reply back “okay”
We’re not having a TFIOS moment

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

nikolaecuza:

danosaurs-and-philions:

im a bad person who thinks bad thoughts like ‘ew what is that girl wearing’ and then remember that im supposed to be positive about all things and then think ‘no she can wear what she wants, fuck what other people say damn girl u look fabulous’ and im just a teeny bit hypocritical tbh

I was always taught by my mother, That the first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think. What you think next defines who you are.

mormondad:

real life high school advice:

  • dont slack 
  • be friends with everyone 
  • kiss ass like there is no tomorrow
"I love you, but you’re toxic."

toothpast:

turkeystuffer:

tatehorror:

Your tongue doesn’t fit comfortably in your mouth

you’re right, maybe it would fit better in yours

that was as smooth as fuck